Thursday, November 12, 2015

Lesson Learned

Home is being wet by raindrops. I'm done praying and reading Yassin and Al-Mulk.
Since i knew that Allah will never neglect pray when rain is falling down. It's a good chance to beg.

Here i write my thought as message, so we all can have lesson learned from my experience.
This is just one that unseen from many.

This gonna takes your time, so read deeply.

This morning, my mom left me with this kinda situation again. The kind that makes me act like grown up in a young age.

I am here with my 8months years old nephew.
Just both of us in the house.
Just so you know, this isn't my first-time-experience.
Even if now am doing my final paper (skripsi). This time is really hectic.
And tough i have my own business to do, i always try to back up my mom while her job need her presence immediately. She is a headmaster.

For the past few months since my sister gave a birth of her son, I learned a lot from how-does-it-feels-as-a mother-of a son.
It isn't...
Hmmm.. No... It will never be easy at the first time.

Me as mommy's third daughter who wants to get married at young age (atleast i want at 24), is now being trusted to handle her grandchild. She thinks that i proper to have a children of my own,
Me too.. I think i am ready.

Is that so?

Because i've been taken care of my nephew while my sister and her husband gone to work everyday.
My mom, dad, and myself is now  alternately together take care of this cute little boy.
Day by day.. three of us calling out each other by phone to get to know who's gonna be home soon, or who's cannot be home soon. We've done that since we don't have baby sitter or maid (we don't easily trust strange people because of our terrible experiences).
So.. Well.. All of us are babysitting.

The picture beside as addition that may tell you : "you will know how relief it is to have a baby sleeping in your chest, it means they comfortable enough being with you. And for me, am not naif, i could be pretty tired with my day, but.. still such a pleasure when he is whining to get hold up in my arms, i guess it means he knows whose arm is warm. That's why i always want to hold him up when he cries"

This is my story. I hope you can learn what i've learned. 

Our parents, mom&dad (mine even yours) try to work so hard from sunrise to sunset so they can raise lot of money for our family living. Afterwards, they finally arrive home safely bring us food or asking have we ate something.
In fact, we don't even know how they reach home.

Was the sun burning their skin? Or how bad the rain's making them wet?
Were they got home by public transport? Or were they walking by themself?
Were they daydreaming while driving alone?
 Were they crying thinking of us as their children?
Were they fall asleep while on the way home?
We dont even know what they've been trough. We don't see the effort.
What we only know is they are finally arrive home safely.

After they arrive,  i see they don't just sit, drink coffee, or doing something that wasting time, but they hold their grandchild up and play with them.

What i learn here is no matter how tired they were at work it will be beaten by love.

Me as their daughter really-really-really appreciate their effort and sometimes cannot belive how tough they trying to be.
Altough it isn't my first time babysitting my nephew, but far before they come today, i was at home in the morning holding up my nephew in my arms, saying goodbye and careful to my parents when they gone work.. And i eventually being left to take care of this cute nephew of mine.

When i was alone.. I suddenly thinking of my parent's effort.
 Oh my dear... this is huge lessons for me if then i married by someone.
Thanks Allah, i am being trusted to handle this such things by my own parents.

In daily, i usually clean up whole house.. doing anykind like sweeping, washing dishes and clothes, etc you name it.
You may think that am old fashioned or attention seeker. But i think if i didn't do it myself.. What can i do while having a family of my own in the future.
Altough i wan to be career woman, this way is my way of preparing as a good wifey.

If Allah never picked me in this faith, i may never learned anything.. and now i know how to change diapers, how to wash baby's bottle properly, (it needs to be sterilized), how to holding up a baby, how to feed them, how to shower them, etc.
Next lesson i learned..

It is not easy standing up as a parent.

You should do anything in a second. You should be hurry if they (the baby) crying and whining for milk. You should be talking with them all day long just to make them staying up without tears of boredom. You should never stop try to feed them, eventough they wont, they should eat. You should never leave them alone as if you scared they will hurt themself, broke something, or eat something that shouldn't be eaten. 
Because they can't even talked yet, you should know what they want, is that milk, food or just whining begging for being hold up. 
You should multitasking if you wanted to eat. You should never take your eyes off of them, You should be ready to carry, and hold them up if they want so. No matter how heavy they are nor no matter how tired, no matter how limp, no matter how sleepless, no matter how overthink  you are. You should be ready to face them. You should take them for walk no matter how tired you've been after work.
That is effort showing in the name of love.

I told you.. This isn't easy. You may just read this like "bla bla bla whatsoever" and so on.
Trust me.
You will feel what i feel if
1. You have to babysit your nephew or niece.
2. You raise your own baby.

From all my experience, i say i can do such things up there.. but the point is not really there.
What message i want to deliver to you as a reader is..

Love your parents for real!
Say thanks for taking care of you, or even your child later if you had one. That is one of the best way to appreciate their time and effort. It wont make your dignity drop down your knees.

I see how tired being a parent. I see how they show they love by carrying their grandchild altough they having an ill. I see how they trying to help us. I see how they try to staying up all night just to take care of their grandchild, by woke up in the mid of night just to give them milk.
I see how they don't want us (as their child) having lack of sleep taking care of our child. That's why they are sleepless when we don't. They back us up.
I see kinda effort they give when they try to feed the grandchild as if they're trying to escape.
Another point of few i see is..

If they do that kinda way with huge effort for their grandchild, in what way they raised us til now?
It must be the biggest effort since we were their own child. Not grandchild.

If their love is big for their grandchild, how big is the love for their child?
It must be the biggest love by now we still taken care of by them..

If they about to have lack of time to sleep just to take care of their grandchild, how many times they have lack of sleep to feed us milk when we were kid?

And.. so on.

Really, pals.
Be thankful if now you still have parents raising yourself.
Be thankful if maybe you have child of your own and still can be taken care of by your parents. Because as far as now i see my parents taking care of my sister's son.. I start to pray that they can take care  of my childs later. I always beg Allah to give them longlife ahead.

I saw how much loves they give for us also for their grandchild.

Then please.. If later you have child of your own, don't blame them from anything. Do not ever.
Because what they see, what they do, what they are talking about, what they are worrying about, is because they love your child as much as you do.

Afterwards, if something happened to your child.. Try to rethink of it deeply and find a way as solutions. Act like real mom & dad. Be grown up as adult. It's okay if you needed help, but if it's still possible, try not to ask a favor from our parents (remember: they already done so much favor in raising you and your child). 
Don't blame anyone. Don't blame yourself. Because that is a faith as our trial from Allah.
Allah put you to it, Allah will let you trough it.

PS: This post being written by english as i think the higher intelectual need to have life-lesson learned.

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